Recently I realized that how I was not taking responsibility for something in my life. I made two investments, some time ago. And I was not giving these investments the time and care that they needed and slowly but surely, they deteriorated over time and are currently in a neglected state. They have depreciated to below market value and have become problems or liabilities. I was not being hands-on and I chose, for most of the time, to look away, hoping the problems associated with them would disappear. I was not taking responsibility and thus things degenerated slowly.
My mistake was not taking responsibility.
What is it that you are not taking responsibility for?
What are you not doing that you should?
What are you doing that you shouldn’t?
What is it about your health, work, relationships etc. that you could improve? That you should improve?
In what area of your life are you just looking away, hoping the problems would disappear?
The truth is that the problem will not go away, it will just get bigger. The antidote begins with setting a small goal. It can be really small. It’s often the small thing that you know you need to do, but as a goal it’s so small, insignificant and almost beneath you. It’s almost demeaning for you to be so pathetic to have such a small goal, that in actual fact, the idea of committing to such a small goal is precisely what is stopping you. It’s what is causing your procrastination. And that small step is what is stopping you from reaching your potential. It could be in anything and in any area of life.
It takes humility to acknowledge that you need to start at the bottom. You have to crawl, walk and then run. We often don’t want to face up to the fact that we don’t want to humble ourselves and learn to crawl. It’s not building your ego, so you don’t do it. Life goes by and nothing changes. So you never end up running, because it’s beneath you to start crawling. In this way you never live up to your potential and the result is a wasted or unfulfilled life.
It takes a humble heart to accept that you can and should improve in some area, and what is actually required of you. The question is: are you big enough to take those small steps? Are you man or woman enough to admit you are flawed? Are you capable of facing up to the fact that you need to break things down to child like steps in order to manage them?
Most people have ‘things’ that they avoid. Metaphorically it’s that pile of papers on your desk that has been increasing in size over time. And you just keep ignoring it. Even the most disciplined of us have things that we are afraid of, things we put off or hope will go away if we ignore them. To move in the right direction is to challenge yourself and say: how can I improve in this? What incremental step can I actually take that will lay the foundation for the next small step? And that’s how you build momentum and confidence and find that you can take on larger challenges.
But it’s unfair
We all experience disappointment or tragedy in some way. And that’s just they way life is. Dreams and ideals get shattered, people die, projects fail, and businesses collapse, relationships end and suffering ensue. Right there is the opportunity for growth and learning. When you come out of these situations you are stronger and more resilient than before. If you let bad situations transform you, you become richer, stronger and wiser. That’s if you choose to respond in the right way. You can choose to become bitter, angry, jealous or resentful. Or you can let that part of you die and a new side of you comes to life. That resurrection is what molds your character. Suffering, disappointment and death is the potting soil for innovation, resurrection and life. But it’s a choice. Forgiving yourself and others for whatever happened is necessary for moving forward.
Do you love yourself enough to forgive yourself, accept who and where you really are and decide to move in the right direction? Or are you hating yourself for the mistakes you have made and condemning yourself because of the past? If that mindset keeps you from reaching your potential, from thriving then why do you tolerate and accept it? We often go half way by chastening and lashing ourselves for our faults and mistakes but we don’t go all the way by crucifying the part of us that needs to die. So we remain stuck in that dark place of hatred, resentment, hostility and disease. And yet we only need to move a bit further, dying to the ego and tormentor, to make room for the resurrection and new life.
Death comes before resurrection.
We all have the capacity for good and evil within us. You have the choice to be a victim or to take responsibility for yourself and move forward. You have the choice to manifest life or death, heaven or hell. Here – Today.
Your conscience will tell you if you listen. It speaks the truth. You know this. You have a moral responsibility to yourself and everyone around you.
Aim low in those areas you are not living up to your standards. It may be embarrassing that you have to aim so low and acknowledge that’s actually where you are. Admit to yourself that you are not who/where you want to be or can be. There will be a loss of ego – the false pretense that you are actually ‘OK’. Make the choice: do you want to stroke your ego or live up to your potential? Die to your ego, to that part of self that is preventing you from moving forward. If you are to proud of whom you think you are, to notice who or what you really are, well then you cannot and will not change.
You need to sacrifice that part of yourself if you want to move forward. For you to see and realize your potential. Be brutally honest, be constantly aware you are not who or what you could be. And take responsibility for that.
Commit yourself, body, spirit and soul to the attainment of that ideal.
Keep track by comparing yourself to who you were yesterday.
Appreciate what you are capable of. If you are human, you are resilient and tougher than you think.
I have taken responsibility for my decisions. It’s menial, dirty work that is now required of me. But I am for the first time in years making progress. It started with taking responsibility and then the first small steps.
Look in the mirror and ask yourself these two questions:
What will happen if you do take responsibility and where will you be in 5 years time?
What will happen if you don’t take responsibility and where will you be in 5 years time?
About the author: Reinhard Korb is a thought leader in the application of psychoneuro-endocrinology, neuro-semantics and epi-genetics. He optimizes health, wellness and performance while preventing disease and disability. As the founder of Thrive, he has facilitated and helped organisations and individuals actualize their potential. He is a certified Fitness & Nutrition Coach, Meta Coach, Neuro Coach, Stress Management Coach and Wellness Coach.